question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
