What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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