tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
