My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
