I got chris browned last night
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
