I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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