mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
