I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
