It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize