anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
