I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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