That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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