singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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