Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
