"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
