Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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