He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
