I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
