I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
