I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
