would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
