ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
