my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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