remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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