He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
