Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
