Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
