dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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