your room smells of hookers.
And success
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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