Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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