Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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