If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
