Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
