Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
