HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my liver is dry heaving
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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