2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
