Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
