hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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