I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
