I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
