Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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