either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
