Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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