From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Found the puke drawer
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
