I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fill condoms, not promises.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i now understand why vodka
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
