I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
