UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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