Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
should my penis look like a turkey
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
