like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
