I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
