I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
