There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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