I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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