I cockslap morals
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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