Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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