wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
