HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
