I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
