My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
