my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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