i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
