Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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