if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
